I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
