Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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