Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
