Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
