I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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