I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
