yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
