i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
