He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
