i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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