this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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