I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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