Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
