Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
