There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
