i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
did you just send me my own nude
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
