Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Someone shattered a urinal.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
