I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
