Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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