For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
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There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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