I'm eating all of the evidence.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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