walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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