I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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