She is in my trunk
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
