you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
