Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.