Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(831): View more from California

There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.

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(786): View more from Florida

I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.

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(816): View more from Missouri

I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(207): View more from Maine

no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.

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(925): View more from California

After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.

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(253): View more from Washington

T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.

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(512): View more from Texas

I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."

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