There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."