Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.