she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
this will be a night to untag.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.