Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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