My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
