god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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