I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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