oh god the rape fog is back!
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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