The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
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My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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