it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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