I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
