Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
