just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize