Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
