We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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