Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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