and my herpes radar will keep us safe
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
