Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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