You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
