Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
