i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
