I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
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I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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