I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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