i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
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He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
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