Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
