You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
