i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
