Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
