i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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