For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
