This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
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