i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
