My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
