I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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