your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
